


Some things even a best friend doesn't know

by Fangirlingmess16



Category: Phan
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Phil Lester - Freeform, Self-Harm, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5158601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlingmess16/pseuds/Fangirlingmess16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is a vampire, a blood sucking vampire feasting on human blood to survive. How will Dan react when he finds out that his best friend and lover is a vampire and never told him? How will Phil react when he finds out Dan's biggest secret and what he has been keeping from him? What will this do to their friendship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some things even a best friend doesn't know

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains self-harm

It was a typically normal day in the Dan and Phil household, Phil eating Dan’s newly bought cereal and leaving socks in every place possible while Dan shouting at his 3DS playing Mario cart and attempting to tidy up but only doing half-tidies. They both bicker over tiny things such as Phil wanting to place cat stickers over Dan’s piano saying “it improves it” or Dan constantly swearing with Phil telling him not to. They are the best of friends some would even say they are deeply in love. Not everything is how it seems; they both have secrets they would never dare to share with one another. Phil was a vampire, a blood sucking vampire needing to feed on people to survive. He could never tell Dan. Ever. He would never understand, it would ruin their friendship forever. Ever since Phil met Dan these years ago he knew he would have to keep his true identity a secret. Dan can never know.

Dan also had a secret life going on, different from Phil; Dan was fighting a battle with none other than himself. Fighting the thoughts, the same thoughts spiralling around his head over and over again so much so he began to believe these demons he lived with. He believed he was not good enough, there is no point of existence, and life is not worth living. Dan was a self-harmer; it is his only method of release from the black abyss of sadness and negative thoughts that is also known as his mind. He could never tell Phil, Phil was a literal ray of sunshine, he was so positive and happy and Dan could not burden Phil with these thoughts and what he does. There are some things even a best friend does not know.

It was spooky week, Dan and Phil settle down next to each other in front of the familiar back round their viewers knew so well. It was Halloween and the final video of spooky week. Dan was dressed up as a cat and Phil dressed as a vampire. Quite fitting. They turned on the camera and began their video.

“Hello Dan and Phil ghosts!” Phil said into the camera while Dan giving him a smile. “Today on Dan and Phil games we are playing none other than Five Nights at Freddie’s” Dan says with a glint of fear in his voice. Phil grabbed the mask from behind them and placed it on his face while Dan slapped it out of his hands. “Phil…No. Put the mask away” Dan said to Phil. They filmed their video which included Dan screaming and falling off his chair in fright at the animatronics jump scaring them on the screen, and Phil doing his little scream and attempting to scare Dan. The filming ended and the camera was turned off.

“Phil those are some amazing fangs! They looked so realistic!” Dan said to Phil with pride in his voice. “Erm...yeah, I got them last week, thanks Dan” Phil mumbled nervously. Phil never bought the fangs, he had no idea they were there. Phil had fangs because he needed to feed; he hated it when this happened. He played it off well though. The problem was they would not go away until Phil had tasted the blood from a human. He could not go out yet it was only day time, he had to wait until the sun had set.

Dan went to his room to browse the internet and reblog his aesthetic on tumblr and Phil went to his room to google photos of cats. Not too long later Phil could the smell and sweet familiar scent, the aroma filling his nose. He knew that scent anywhere. It was the smell of Dan’s blood.

Dan was alone in his room, the demons swirling around his mind once again. Dan looked over at the black draws to his left; he tried to tell himself to not do it, to not pull out that familiar blade once again. Dan felt like he lost control and involuntarily opened the top draw and pulled out the shiny silver blade he tried so hard to forget about. Dan’s eyes glazed over and tears began to form in his eyes “Why do I do this to myself?” Dan whispered to himself, it was more of a rhetorical question, something not even he could answer. Dan looked at the small silver blade, watching it reflect from his bedroom light. The tears ran out from the brim of his eyes free falling down his cheeks. Dan lifted the blade and made contact with his skin. Dan looked up and closed his eyes as he dragged the blade along his delicate skin over and over again. “Not good enough” Dan said to himself on a loop.

Phil knew Dan did this to himself. He never mentioned it to him as he does not know how to help him. Phil does little things to help Dan by saying how he changed his life, or making him a hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night. Phil hated it when Dan did this to himself, he really did. He wishes he could burst into Dan’s room and comfort him but the only thing holding him back is the fear of he might do something he regrets, especially as he needs to feed. Phil buried his head in his hands wondering what he can do to help Dan.

After what seemed like a lifetime and an ocean of tears Dan looked down at his bloody wrists, the little beads of blood spilling out from his arm. He got up and walked to the bathroom to clean himself up. The hot water burned his fresh cuts. Dan then went back to his room, pulling his Attack On Titan jumper sleeves over his wrists. Depressed. He then proceeded to go on tumblr for an infinite amount of time.

The sweet smell of Dan’s blood faded and Phil finally regained full control. He needed to go out and feed. He had to. Phil knocked on Dan’s door a faint “Come in” emitted from the room. Phil walked in and said “Dan... Chris and PJ need me to go to theirs for a few hours... I’ll be back later” “Okay…wait why are you still dressed as a vampire, Phil?” Dan said to Phil questioning him. “Oh I just forgot to take it off and it is Halloween after all.” Phil said to Dan with confidence. “Well I will see you later, Dan!” Phil shouted while going down the millions of stairs from their apartment. “Okay bye” Dan said.

Dan sat on his bed on tumblr as normal. He felt like crap, it felt like the walls were radiating sadness and he was a sponge soaking it all up. After a few hours had past and it was pitch black outside he decided he needed some fresh air. Dan decided he was going to go out for a walk to clear his mind and hopefully cheer himself up.

Dan got out of bed, threw on a coat and went out. He was walking admiring how pretty London was at night time, all lit up. He was looking around at the pumpkins outside houses each one demonstrating a different kind of creativity. Dan let out a sigh and a slight smile, being out in the open he felt somewhat relived and free from his own demons.

It wasn’t too long after this he heard a faint squeal coming from somewhere near him, Dan being his concerned self he began looking for the source of the noise. The sound was coming from an alleyway. Dan walked down the alleyway quietly being sure not to be caught; he then brought out his phone to turn on the torch to see what was happening. The torch was turned on. What Dan saw horrified him. He saw his best friend Phil with his teeth in the neck of a poor women draining her blood, Dan froze watching. Phil had blood running down his jaw and dripping down onto the floor. The woman was becoming pale. Dan just watched as Phil devoured all the blood. He had no words. No noise. Phil looked up for a second and noticed Dan standing there with a traumatised look on his face.

Before Phil could even say anything Dan ran off. Dan never runs. He ran. Dan had no idea where to go, his instinct was to run back home, back to their apartment. Dan got home and went straight into his room and began pacing around in a panic and hyperventilating did he just see his best friend eating someone?!? “No… It couldn’t be. Phil isn’t. This is some sort of Halloween prank.” Dan said trying to convince himself.

Dan was on the verge of a panic attack “Someone just died!” Dan shouted into the air not knowing how to control his thoughts. He just saw his innocent best friend eating someone. About 5 minutes had passed and Phil burst into Dan’s room.

Dan looked at Phil in horror and froze staring at his best friend. Phil stared back at Dan not knowing what to do. His best friend just saw his hidden identity. Phil began advancing towards Dan slowly and Dan retreated back from Phil. Dan’s back hit the wall and Phil stood in front of the brunette staring deep into his brown eyes, forcing Dan to stare into Phil’s blue eyes.

“Dan…It’s not...what it looks like” Phil said with a shaky voice. “I JUST SAW YOU FRICKING EATING SOMEONE, PHIL.” Dan shouted taking Phil back by the sudden outburst. “I was going to tell you…” Phil said with guilt clear in his voice. “BUT YOU DIDN’T PHIL. YOU DIDN’T, I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS.”  Dan screamed at Phil. “I did it for your protection, Dan” Phil said trying to redeem himself. “Protection…Protection…don’t give me that crap, Phil” Dan said almost laughing and attempting to walk away from the older man.

Phil grabbed Dan’s arm forcefully. “YES, DAN. I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU, WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT” Phil shouted in Dan’s face. Before Dan could say anything “I LOVE YOU DAN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, EVER SINCE WE MET IV’E LOVED YOU” Phil shouted “SHUT UP, PHIL. GO AWAY I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN, HOW COULD YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM ME” Dan’s eyes were filling up with tears once again. “YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT’S FINE WITH ME, DAN. I HATE YOU. I NEVER WANT TO LAY EYES ON YOU EVER AGAIN”

Dan didn’t respond. He got out of Phil’s firm grip and began walking out of his own room and leave the apartment. Forever. As Dan was leaving the room fighting back the tears determined to not show any weakness. “I KNOW YOU’RE HURTING YOURSELF DAN. I KNOW YOU’RE CRYING TO SLEEP MOST NIGHTS. I KNOW YOUR CUTTING YOURSELF.” Phil shouted at Dan with tears threatening to spill out of his blue eyes. Dan turned around sharply, his first instinct was to deny it “NO I’M NOT PHIL, STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME OUT LIKE I’M WEAK.” Dan shouted and Phil with hatred in his voice. “I KNOW YOU ARE DAN, I CAN SMELL IT FROM A MILE AWAY, DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?!” Phil shouted with a volume he rarely used. “SHUT UP PHIL, YOU’RE WRONG.” Dan proceeded to exit the room.

Phil once again grabbed Dan’s arm and spun him round and pushed his back against the wall and pinned down his arms. “Don’t lie to me, Daniel.” Phil said with a stern voice. Dan looked away from Phil’s glare. “I’ll prove it.” Phil said to Dan. Phil then attempted to pull up Dan’s right sleeve. Dan resisted and was pulling away from Phil.

Dan was practically begging Phil to stop and not do it. Phil wasn’t listening and still pulling Dan’s sleeves up. Dan was in floods of tears now. Phil leaned on Dan’s left arm to stop him from moving.

Phil got the sleeve up. “Phil… stop please no.” Phil was horrified with what he saw. Cuts and scars all the way up Dan’s arm. Phil stared at Dan’s arm in shock. “Why?” Phil asked. He had no idea it was this bad. “I…Just hate everything...I hate myself” Dan said between cries.

Dan fell to the ground crying and feeling ashamed. Phil crouched down to Dan’s level and said nothing but hugged him. Phil cradled Dan in his arms. “I love you… please stop…please. I’ll help you. Anything Dan. Please stop” Phil whispered to Dan now also crying. “I love you too, I love you so much.” Dan said to Phil. Silence fell in the room. All that was there was Phil cuddling Dan. Soon the cries of Dan calmed down. “Dan?” Phil said quietly. “Yeah?” answered Dan “May I see your wrists for a second?” Dan showed Phil his wrist still feeling ashamed. Phil then began kissing each individual cut and scar, spending time with each one.

Not going to lie. Dan was pretty nervous at this as after all Phil was a vampire. He just watches Phil kiss his scars and if by magic a few seconds after each one was kissed it healed. Phil continued to kiss each scar and cut until they were all healed. “Phil...how?” Dan said to Phil amazed by this power. Phil said nothing and once again wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist once again.

Time past and Phil looked down and Dan had fallen asleep in Phil’s embrace “I’m sorry, Dan.” Phil whispered. Phil carefully got up and gently picked up Dan carrying him to Phil’s bed to rest for the night. Phil was a vampire and didn’t need sleep but he still lied there with Dan. Phil leaned over Dan and placed a gentle kiss onto Dan’s lips.

Dan woke up alone and in Phil’s bed. For a moment he was confused but then realised the events that occurred last night. Dan jumped out of bed and went directly to the kitchen where he grabbed Phil and hugged him tight. He said nothing and just hugged the man he loved. Phil didn’t say anything either and just enjoyed being embraced by Dan. Dan looked at Phil and they both stared intently into one another’s eyes. Dan then leaned in and kissed Phil gently but passionately, Phil kissed Dan back and they wrapped their arms around each other and just enjoyed the moment. Dan broke the kiss then looked to the black haired man “I love you, Phil.” Dan said. “I love you too” Phil said back to Dan and continued their kiss.

 


End file.
